I feel like it's my fault that we're not getting pregnant

As we all know, it takes two to tango – and to make a baby. So when it doesn’t happen, it’s normal to wonder why. But while enlightening, fertility tests can cause a guilt trip when they indicate the fertility problem is clearly on one side.

It may be your issue but it’s not your fault

There are many reasons for infertility. Advanced age, lack of eggs, problems implanting, conditions like endometriosis or PCOS, and lack of healthy sperm. But just because you have one of these problems, doesn’t mean you should feel guilty (or that achieving a baby is impossible). We cannot control our genetic makeup or our medical history, and we can’t change the events of the past. All we can do is focus on our current situation, and make the best of it.

Great expectations = great disappointments

It’s no wonder lots of us feel bad for failing to conceive. As far as society is concerned, fertility is a given and having children is ‘natural’. People are all too hasty to offer well meaning advice, and some will even judge you for not having kids as expected. Family and friends keep popping out babies with ease. Strangers tell you not to stress. Baby shower invites come thick and fast. It’s hell on pram wheels.

But what society doesn’t tell you is that one in six couples have issues conceiving. Chances are more than a handful of people you know are dealing with the issues you’re currently facing (or have done in the past). It can be a real surprise when you mention you’re having trouble conceiving, just how many people you know will admit they have had issues as well. It wasn’t their fault – and it isn’t yours either. 

Do what you can, let go of the rest

There are a couple of simple things you can do to help improve your fertility, like not smoking and ensuring your BMI is in the healthy range. Some studies have shown that natural therapies such as acupuncture can help improve your stress levels and state of mind. Genea can offer you help and support with any, or all, of these things with counselling to help you get your head around the emotional guilt factor. Just remember one thing: you’re not the first to feel this way, and with our help, you don’t have to.

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