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As Mother’s Day draws near, we wanted to take a moment to connect about the mixed emotions this day can bring, especially for those of us who have experienced challenges on the path to parenthood. It's a time when the world celebrates motherhood in all its beauty, but it can also stir up feelings of longing, grief, or inadequacy for those facing infertility, pregnancy loss, or other hurdles. 

Recently, our Genea Counsellor, Cailin Jordan, recently presented at an event focused on supporting individuals through the complexities of Mother’s Day. She shared poignant insight that resonated deeply with us: “Mother’s Day means very different things for different people. For some it is a day celebrating nurturing energy in its essence. For others it is complicated by absent or difficult relationships with their own mother or mother figures. It can be further complicated by grief, estrangement or obligation. It can also trigger a reminder, of a milestone where you are not yet the parent you hoped to be. It can feel like a lonely and isolated time and can bring many feelings including sadness, disappointment, fear, anxiety, inadequacy, anger, frustration and jealousy. It’s a lot to carry and complex feelings are normal under the circumstances.” 

She discussed various strategies for coping with the emotional weight that this and other family focused days can carry. Here are her recommendations:  

  • Setting boundaries on your own and others’ expectations. 
  • Change the tradition – do something that suits you on the day. 
  • Be flexible, you don’t HAVE to do anything – and you can always change your mind and participate if you feel up to it. Stay for as long as you feel comfortable.  
  • Explore what you need with your loved one(s). We often are not clear on what we need ourselves and can’t expect our partners, family or loved ones to read our minds, just as we can’t be expected to read theirs. 
  • On Mother’s and Father’s Day, some couples like to acknowledge their partners commitment to become a parent with a gift from themselves or their pets thanking them for their companionship on the journey.  
  • Opt out of emails and shopping reminders about Mother’s Day if it is triggering for you. 
  • Mute social media accounts or stay offline for a while if it becomes a challenging space for you. 
  • Honour your emotions – grieve, celebrate, express gratitude, frustration etc. 
  • Acknowledge your grief if you have lost or are estranged from your mother. Even harder if you are still on your family building journey and had hoped to share it with her. 
  • Acknowledge disappointment and disconnection if mum, family, or friends don’t get your fertility journey or you feel unsupported. Most of the time there is no ill intent, people just don’t know what to say and get it wrong. All of us are “puppies” in some domains, forgive when people say foolish things, we all make mistakes from time to time, and no one is perfect. 
  • However, choose your support people wisely – know your safe spaces.  If you can’t identify any, seek community and a good counsellor to help you build your support networks. You are not alone as today illustrates so beautifully. 
  • Allow yourself to hope, it gives you emotional energy to remember that all family building journeys are unique and there are many ways to become a parent. 

For friends and family members, we emphasize the significance of empathy and sensitivity during holidays like Mother’s Day. Recognising that these occasions may evoke pain or sadness for loved ones struggling with infertility or loss, offering understanding and support can make a profound difference. 

Despite the hurdles we may face on the journey to parenthood, you may find solace in knowing that you are not alone. By fostering a community of understanding and compassion, we can create spaces where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued. 

As we approach Mother’s Day, let us honour the depth and breadth of motherhood, extending our support to all who may find this day bittersweet. Together, let's embrace the diversity of experiences that shape our understanding of motherhood, offering kindness, empathy, and love to all who need it most. 
If you need support, our Counselling team is here and you can reach them here.

Disclaimer: Please note that this is a Genea Group blog and as such information may not be relevant for all clinics. We advise that you consult clinics directly for further information.