"I just kept going" Siobhan's journey to becoming a solo mum
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Key takeaways
- A growing number of single women in Australia are choosing to pursue parenthood on their own, using donor sperm to start their family.
- Egg freezing can help preserve fertility options for women who haven’t yet met a partner but know they want children in the future.
- Fertility treatment is rarely a straight line, and it’s common for the journey to involve more than one cycle.
- Emotional support matters. Counselling, family, and single parent support groups can make a meaningful difference throughout treatment and beyond.
- All donor conception in Australia is regulated, with mandatory counselling and no anonymous donation permitted.
More women than ever are choosing to become parents on their own terms. For some, that means freezing their eggs while they wait to meet the right partner. For others, it means deciding not to wait at all, and pursuing solo parenthood with the help of donor sperm.
Siobhan is one of those women. Now a solo mum to her daughter Florence, she shared her experience of egg freezing, donor conception and the emotional realities of fertility treatment, in the hope it might help other women considering the same path.
Why are more single women choosing solo motherhood in Australia?
For many single women, pursuing parenthood alone is about taking control of their fertility timeline rather than leaving it to chance. Meeting a partner isn’t something anyone can schedule, but fertility does change with age, and for women who know they want a family, waiting indefinitely can feel like the riskier option.
That was the reality Siobhan found herself weighing up in her late 30s.
“I was in my late 30s. I hadn’t met a husband or partner yet, and I really wanted to have a family,” she says.
Freezing her eggs to keep the option of a family open
Siobhan’s first step was egg freezing, a way of preserving her fertility options while she waited to see what the future held. She completed two rounds of egg freezing and stored 17 eggs.
“I decided at 39 to freeze my eggs… Hopefully, when I met somebody in my 40s, then we’d have babies together.”
Egg freezing involves stimulating the ovaries to produce multiple eggs, which are then collected and frozen for potential future use. For women who aren’t ready to start a family yet, whether for personal, medical or circumstantial reasons, it can offer valuable breathing room.
Learn more about egg freezing at Genea
Deciding to use donor sperm as a single woman
When the timing of meeting a partner didn’t go to plan, Siobhan made the decision to pursue parenthood on her own with the help of a sperm donor. The COVID-19 pandemic arrived, she still hadn’t met a partner, and she realised she didn’t want to keep waiting.
“COVID hit, and I still hadn’t met a partner. I registered myself on a donor registry and decided to take the plunge.”
In Australia, single women can legally access donor sperm through accredited fertility clinics. All donor conception is altruistic and non-anonymous, meaning donor-conceived children have the legal right to access identifying information about their donor when they reach adulthood. Before treatment begins, all recipients complete implications counselling to help them consider what donor conception means for them and their future child.
Read our comprehensive guide to finding a sperm donor
What role did embryo testing play in Siobhan’s treatment?
Genetic testing of embryos became an important part of Siobhan’s pathway after several unsuccessful transfers. Preimplantation genetic testing (PGT) screens embryos for chromosomal abnormalities before transfer, which can help identify embryos with the best chance of developing.
“We started testing the embryos… because I had four failed transfers, which is really disheartening.”
Whether embryo testing is appropriate depends on individual circumstances, and it’s a decision made together with your treating team based on your medical history and situation.
Navigating the emotional rollercoaster of fertility treatment
Fertility treatment can be emotionally demanding, and Siobhan is open about how challenging the setbacks were. Like many people, she began treatment expecting things to work quickly, and found the reality far more testing.
“You’re on a total rollercoaster. When I started, I just thought I was going to fall pregnant straight away. I didn’t consider that it could take more than one go.”
What helped her keep going was a combination of perspective, persistence and support from the people around her.
“My mum gave me the best piece of advice when I started the journey. She said, don’t worry if it doesn’t work at first, you can always try again. So I just kept going. I’ve run a marathon, so every time we hit a wall, I thought, I can push through. We did six rounds back to back. People thought I was crazy, but I’m a bit all or nothing. Once I decided I was doing it, I kept focusing on the end goal.”
Everyone’s experience is different, and there’s no right number of cycles or right way to feel. What Siobhan’s story highlights is the value of realistic expectations, a strong support network, and being kind to yourself along the way.
Where can single women find support on the journey to solo parenthood?
Support is available at every stage, from professional counselling through to peer communities of women walking the same path. Fertility counselling is a standard part of donor conception in Australia, and many women also find enormous value in connecting with others through single parent support groups and solo mum communities, both online and in person.
These communities can offer practical advice, emotional reassurance, and friendships with people who genuinely understand the experience, during treatment, through pregnancy and into parenthood.
Disclaimer: Please note that this is a Genea Group blog and as such information may not be relevant for all clinics. We advise that you consult clinics directly for further information.
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